Essex


<p>You&#8217;ve got to that stage where you can no longer carry on being wed, and you want to split without too much stress. But is a happy divorce possible?</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="667" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/Karen-Taylor_230721_005-Edit-2-1000x667.jpg" alt="Essex Family Law solicitor Karen Taylor" class="wp-image-11276" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/Karen-Taylor_230721_005-Edit-2-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/Karen-Taylor_230721_005-Edit-2-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/Karen-Taylor_230721_005-Edit-2-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/Karen-Taylor_230721_005-Edit-2-788x525.jpg 788w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/Karen-Taylor_230721_005-Edit-2.jpg 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>Of course we&#8217;re not going to pretend it&#8217;ll be a total bed of roses, as there&#8217;s finances, property and may be even kids to consider. However you don&#8217;t have to fight tooth and nail, so long as you stay calm, think clearly and plan, plan and plan some more. Check out this to-do list from Karen Taylor, collaborative lawyer and financial arbitrator from <a href="https://essexfamilylaw.co.uk" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Chelmsford-based Essex Family Law</a> – she&#8217;s here to keep that uncoupling as pain-free as poss with her tips for how to have a happy divorce.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-tip-1-prepare">Tip 1: PREPARE</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/2-7.jpg" alt="How to divorce amicably " class="wp-image-11280" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/2-7.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/2-7-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/2-7-768x511.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/2-7-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>The first step to a happy divorce is to get your mind and body in the right space to make decisions.&nbsp;Separating can be tough, even when you both know it&#8217;s the right thing to do.&nbsp;Take up a hobby if you don’t have one (ideally something physical even if it&#8217;s <a href="https://essex.muddystilettos.co.uk/things-to-do/walks-near-me/best-walks-essex/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">just a walk a day</a>); plan meals so you can shop ahead and don’t have to make your mind up on the day; and build your support network, including counselling and/or coaching.&nbsp;You need head space to make big decisions, so making sure your network is in place and you have the right people to support you is important.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-tip-2-talk">Tip 2: TALK</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/4-7.jpg" alt="Talk to each other for a happy divorce" class="wp-image-11277" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/4-7.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/4-7-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/4-7-768x511.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/4-7-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>Talk to your other half, chatting about what you both want your priorities to be throughout the process.&nbsp;If you&#8217;ve kids, what do you want your children to know when sitting them down to talk about why your relationship hasn&#8217;t worked?&nbsp;What sort of relationship do you both want or need when you are no longer together?&nbsp;Who do you need to add to your support network?&nbsp;Do it now.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-tip-3-budget">Tip 3: BUDGET</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="667" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/kelly-sikkema-3-Tc_5LROrM-unsplash-1000x667.jpg" alt="Budget and make lists for a happy divorce" class="wp-image-11278" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/kelly-sikkema-3-Tc_5LROrM-unsplash-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/kelly-sikkema-3-Tc_5LROrM-unsplash-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/kelly-sikkema-3-Tc_5LROrM-unsplash-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/kelly-sikkema-3-Tc_5LROrM-unsplash-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/kelly-sikkema-3-Tc_5LROrM-unsplash-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/kelly-sikkema-3-Tc_5LROrM-unsplash-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>Collect information about your current situation, taking into account your mortgage, property value, rental/lease terms, financial reserves and outgoings. Think about your future situation – what will two homes cost to buy, rent or run? Will you have financial security in the short, medium and long term – and how will you achieve that? Talk to an independent financial advisor, and remember to factor in debts, credit cards and loans.&nbsp;This is where spreadsheets will become your new best friend, as it&#8217;s helpful to have everything written down in one place so you get a proper overview of what there is – and isn’t. Trust us, this really will help so your divorce is as amicable as can be.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-tip-4-consider">Tip 4: CONSIDER</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/3-7.jpg" alt="Think about how it will affect your family for an amicable divorce" class="wp-image-11279" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/3-7.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/3-7-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/3-7-768x511.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/3-7-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>Next o the agenda for a happy divorce is the time to research options for agreeing and resolving issues.&nbsp;There are pros and cons for all processes: mediation, arbitration, collaboration and informal negotiation.&nbsp;Is retaining control more important than clear deadlines – and how do you make decisions as a couple?&nbsp;How much trust is there still between you?&nbsp;Some processes mean you need to be able to trust each other, even if it&#8217;s just a bit, while with others you can rely on the person helping to bridge that gap in trust.&nbsp;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-tip-5-plan">Tip 5: PLAN</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/4-8.jpg" alt="Make a plan and resolve each one by priority for a happy divorce " class="wp-image-11284" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/4-8.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/4-8-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/4-8-768x511.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/essex/wp-content/uploads/sites/22/2023/02/4-8-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>It&#8217;s time to put your plan into action, but you don’t have to tackle everything at once.&nbsp;If one task is going to take longer than others, start that one off at the beginning and carry on your discussions while that ticks away in the background.&nbsp;Whether you apply for a divorce jointly or separately, there&#8217;s a fixed 20 week waiting period before you can apply for your conditional order – and another six weeks minimum for the decree absolute.&nbsp;Start that off when you both feel comfortable with the idea, and carry on the discussions in that waiting time.&nbsp;Try not to wait until you get the conditional order and then start talking – you&#8217;ll only end up delaying the divorce.</p>



<p>Above all, get me or another lawyer to do a reality check on what you want and hope to do as early on as you can.&nbsp;We can help work out which bits of information are relevant and which are distractions, talking through the different ways of getting to an agreement and what documentation you&#8217;ll need to turn them into reality.&nbsp;If it turns out you don’t actually have the same understanding as each other about what&#8217;s happening, the sooner you find that out the better, and the more likely it is you can stay on good terms.</p>



<p>One final point: you can come as a couple if you want.&nbsp;When you still quite like each other, but have realised you can’t live with each other, why not save on one set of lawyer’s fees?</p>



<p><em>Interested in finding out more about Karen? <a href="https://essex.muddystilettos.co.uk/little-black-book/directory/essex-family-law-chelmsford/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Read more about her services here</a>.</em></p>


How to have a happy (oh yes you can!) divorce, says this Essex solicitor

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